Bitchin' Balls or Creative Speed Dating for Short

Originally written 8:21 AM Thursday, August 21, 2014 (and throughout the day, as I was in school)

In creative writing class earlier in the week, Mrs Brown had her junior year English students put their desks into groups. Because her classes are kind of on a checkered schedule--11th English, 12th English, 11th English, Creative Writing, etc--and all her junior classes needed to be in groups, she just made everyone sit in groups. I remember when I walked into the room, all the desks were organized to look a lot like the dots on a five card or side of a die.  I was quite confuzzled. I sat down at my number desk. All the desks were in groups of six. She said to make sure to get in "corner desks" and I, being confused and sitting in the middle grouping, moved to a grouping in the corner. She actually meant to get in desks at the corners of each grouping. Whoops. So, I ended up switching to a corner desk in a corner grouping, sitting right in front/across from the guy in class who swam with Arianna Grande. True story. He was friends with someone who was friends with someone who knew Arianna Grande. And, apparently, he made physical contact with a couple famous athletes, but I don't remember their names (not a big sports fan). Anyways, I sat across from him for this thing Mrs Brown made us do; "speed dating". It wasn't real speed dating, but she said it was like it, just more of an introduction activity for the classroom. She pulled questions out of a jar and topics and stuff and we talked about them. Well, this one girl had to sit in front of me and she played soccer. She said she loved "kicking balls", making me laugh. And then she was like "what? Baseball players get to say they 'whack balls'" and then I said "and volleyball players slap balls" and we were just laughing over the whole thing. It was a very mature and appropriate topic. Then, later, a girl came in front of me and was talking about how our senior class's float was going to be "fuckin' bitchin'". No lie. I think I laughed at that one, too. I mean, "fuckin' bitchin'" when talking about a float? I didn't even know we were getting floats! So that was good.